![]() ![]() One afternoon, when the miller was delivering the corn and wheat flour for the king’s baker to make tortillas and French bread pizza and even sourdough, the miller saw that the king was sitting alone in his great dining hall drinking mead. But when he thought of Karen, he had thoughts of Marry and Kill of much higher, and exactly equal fondness. The only problem with King Maximillian’s playing the game, was that he could not decide which of the three he wanted to do to Karen the most. Unbeknownst to Karen, King Maximillian was playing a ‘Boff-Marry-Kill’ game of his own-and the king was talented at follow-through. Miller liked imagining the title he’d give himself ‘King Father’, which had a much better ring to it than the ‘Queen Mother.’ And if it didn’t work out between Karen and Max, his other daughters were still pliable, though Stacey would need a nose job. #Drunken master reboot fullKaren and Miller set out upon a plan to make her Marry dream a reality, ensuring a happily-ever-after that would be full of riches for the both of them. and Marry King Maximillian, tall regal leader of her local kingdom, aptly named The Kingdom of the Mostness. Kill Henry the VIII (she had had a short-lived fling with him already which some might say was cheating at the Boff-Marry-Kill game, but she wasn’t taking any chances on being short-lived herself) Boff King Caligula (she’d heard great things) When Karen played the ‘Boff-Marry-Kill’ game with the other maidens in the village, she chose: They were going to be rich quick as soon as 5 fools from other kingdoms were convinced to send them all of their miller-ing profits. The pair had also recently sent all of last year’s miller-ing profits to a gentleman who lived somewhere called Venezia. Instead, Karen had a metric shit-ton of goat placentas in various states of decay at home. When Karen and Miller started a get-rich-quick scheme convincing the maids-a-milking to part with their goat placentas, and packaged them into face creams, they didn’t realise that they would need to drum up a market for such face cream. The pair weren’t so talented at the follow-through, however. Karen and her father, just called ‘Miller’, were always looking for the next scam, scheming about how they could get rich quick. Karen was very beautiful, with long wavy dark hair and a coquettish grin. Karen was his eldest daughter, his favourite, so he didn’t really pay any mind to his other daughters. Once upon a time, long before the name Karen had taken on any negative connotation, there was a miller who had a daughter who he named Karen. ![]()
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